Quiet presence

I’ve been feeling pretty beat lately. I have a lot of work to accomplish everyday as the administrator of the computer network at our school district. Managing the needs of nearly five hundred computers and the users is daunting at times. I’m blessed with one full time assistant and one part time assistant. But, we still have been up to our necks lately. I’ve been feeling the strain of it all and it’s left me emotionally flat. I’ve been trying to put other people’s needs first, but still I’ve been maxxed out. I didn’t feel like making the trip to Mt. Irenaeus today for Mass and our Secular Franciscan Fraternity meeting. I just sat there at Mass. I went through the motions, but my heart wasn’t there. During Fr. Lou’s homily he mentioned how people don’t really get vacations anymore because even when they’re away from work they are still carrying cell phones, chatting and blogging on computers. That hit home and it melted the ice enough that I began to come alive during the rest of the Eucharist. I hadn’t realized how much I needed to be there and how good it was to be home with our Secular Fraternity.

Following Mass and a tasty brunch at the house we returned to the chapel for Eucharistic adoration. Eucharistic adoration is one of my favorite liturgical activities. I love to sit in the chapel in the divine presence and to smell the incense and bathe in that moment. I have a Quaker side of me that just loves the quiet presence of God. Following our meeting I was back on the road to what I thought was home. There was a message on my voice mail from an old friend, Brother Vianney. His voice on the other end was just like talking to an angel. We agreed to meet for a short lunch at a local Subway restaraunt. It was great to see him again. Vianney Justin, OFM is a friar with a huge heart and being with him is validation that I’m not crazy or unusual. We share a lot of common interests. We both like George Carlin and corny jokes. We share an attraction to Trappist Monasteries.

We both went our separate ways and by the end of the day I was back at Abbey of the Geneseee. Vianney asked me to pick up some brochures of the Monastery that he could share with people at his parish. I stopped by the monks’ bakeshop and purchased a couple of chocolate chip and blueberry cakes made by the monks. Before I left I went and sat for some time in the lovely quiety chapel in the presence again and gazing on the picture of Our Lady of the Genesee. Peace.

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