Tag: gratitude

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A bird in the hand

I forgot to mention that I was able to incorporate the incredible picture of the little bird in my hand into my new theme. Holding that little bird was a moment of grace. Not my grace, but the grace of God who blesses, forms and informs my life. On December 7th when that event occurred it was exactly the kind of reassurance I needed. Earlier in the week I had been part of the funeral of my long time friend Paul and when that little bird landed in my hand it was just as if Paul and God were reassuring me of his contentment in his new life.

I wanted to celebrate that event and the blessings in my life by putting it where it is. It’s a tangible reminder of the grace of God in my life. Peace.

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The Immaculate Conception

Today is my birthday. It’s also the Feast of the Immaculate Conception. Besides being my birthday which is an important event in my life I share this wonderful Marian feast. I don’t talk about her much, but Mary holds a special part in heart and it’s because of this feast I guess. My mother is the best model of Mary I have. Mom loves me more than anything else. She gave me life and on this day 57 years ago welcomed me into the world, her first born.

Mom made sure that I had a proper up-bringing and that included 9 years of Catholic primary school and a couple of years of Catholic high school. I don’t mean to imply that if you didn’t go to Catholic schools that you are somehow stunted because nothing could be further from the truth. But, giving her son those same chances she enjoyed and more were what was important in Mom’s life. Her devotion to Our Lady permeates her life and it touched mine too. Mary occupied an esteemed place in St. Francis of Assisi’s life too as the mother of Jesus. This prayer attributed to Francis bears that out.

Hail, holy Lady, most holy Queen,
Mary, Mother of God, ever Virgin.
You were chosen by the Most High Father in heaven,
consecrated by Him, with His most Holy Beloved Son and the Holy Spirit, the Comforter.

On you descended and still remains all the fullness of grace and every good.
Hail, His Palace.
Hail His Tabernacle.
Hail His Robe.
Hail His Handmaid.
Hail, His Mother.
and Hail, all holy Virtues, who, by grace and inspiration of the Holy Spirit, are poured into the hearts of the faithful so that from their faithless state, they may be made faithful servants of God through you.

Deo Gratias for 57 years of wonderful life and praise to the Holy Queen of Heaven.
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Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving to everyone who reads this blog. Later today our family will begin to arrive at our home and we’ll once more be re-united with those we hold close to our hearts. My mother, 83 years young will be here along with Diane’s Mom and Dad. Our children will be here and also my brothers and sisters in law and a couple of cute little girls who are the new generation of grand-children in the family. God has been good to us and to me in particular. I’m planning on driving to Mt. Irenaeus for Mass later this morning. The friars celebrate Eucharist at 11 AM. It’s very quiet as I sit here this morning in the dawn’s early light. It’s overcast today, but I know that somewhere the sun in shining. I’m brewing a pot of coffee and enjoying the smell of it perking.

I’m thankful for this year. There is renewed purpose in my life. I’m teaching again and attending graduate school at St. Bonaventure University. I’m learning anew and being challenged by my classmates and professor. Five months has made a big difference in my life. A retreat at Mt. Irenaeus, taking inventory and sharing with my friend led to a renewed spirit. “Do not conform yourselves to this age but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and pleasing and perfect,” from Romans 12:2. I think of how much the scriptures inform and transform my life.

My friend, Paul is being greeted by Sister Death and I’ve had the privilege of being with him and his family as he leaves this life bound for the next. Paul has been sick for a couple of months. He’s 87 and he broke his hip in late September. It’s been a tough couple of months for he and his family but he’s at peace and so are they. Sure there is grief, but amidst the grief there is much happiness for a life well lived. I’ve know Paul for 30 years and in that time we’ve grown very close. He’s been a rock in my life and as he grew older and his eyes dimmed many of us helped him get to where he needed to be. He lives almost ten miles from nowhere in hamlet that is almost forgotten. We help ourselves most when we help others and our concern for Paul and his needs have drawn us closer together. The night he fell he was surrounded by brothers, most of them half his age. It has been something to witness this tremendous outpouring of love. One of Paul’s favorite poems became one of my favorites and whenever I think of him I think of it. It’s a story of our lives and it’s a story of redemption too and all of us who knew Paul have been redeemed.

I FLED Him, down the nights and down the days;
I fled Him, down the arches of the years;
I fled Him, down the labyrinthine ways
Of my own mind; and in the mist of tears
I hid from Him, and under running laughter.
Up vistaed hopes I sped;
And shot, precipitated,
Adown Titanic glooms of chasmèd fears,
From those strong Feet that followed, followed after.
But with unhurrying chase,
And unperturbèd pace,
Deliberate speed, majestic instancy,
They beat—and a Voice beat
More instant than the Feet—
‘All things betray thee, who betrayest Me.’

You can read the whole poem here. We will all miss Paul, but I for one am very thankful that our paths crossed and for thirty years we were friends and that he shared so much of his life and insight with me and with us.

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Grateful

Last night I was walking back to my car from Friedsam Library at St. Bonaventure University and I as I looked into the night I could barely make out the familiar lines of Merton’s Heart. It’s a clearing on the mountainside just south of the campus of St. Bonaventure University. As I looked up and thought of Merton, my life and St. Bonaventure University I was filled with an overwhelming sense of gratitude that my life has taken this new turn. Just four months ago I had contemplated retirement and now I’m very much in the thick of academic rigor again. I’m learning a great deal and I’m enjoying the discourse, much of it “online” in our Moodle format for the course in Educational Leadership and School Law.

In retrospect I wish I’d have done this earlier, but where and how that would have been possible I really don’t know. Just Saturday night at the Mt. Irenaeus 25 year celebration I had dinner with Sr. Eleanor and she related how she returned to graduate school at 57. At every turn I’m greeted by people who encourage me. I like my classes to at Franklinville Central School. I’ve been blessed with great students who challenge me at every turn and force me to learn software and programming that I wouldn’t otherwise.

Last night as I walked up the steps and into Friedsam Library at St. Bonaventure I thought again of Tom Merton and how I’m following his footsteps once again. It’s almost mid-night here at home and I’m just finishing my homework seated next to our pellet stove which radiates a good bit of heat. Deo Gratias!

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Francis Week

This week I actually attended more liturgical services at St. Bonaventure University than at any other time in my life. Since I’m now a graduate student there that is probably not too surprising, but it was a personal first. Last week I attended Sunday Mass and again this evening I joined the university community for a lovely Eucharist in the university chapel. When I first moved to the area in 1979 I used to come and sit in this chapel. I always liked it’s architecture and the peace that surrounded it. Tonight during the service I could hear a flock of geese as they were honking their way overhead. That seemed quite Franciscan as tonight we were marking the Feast of St. Francis. Last night I joined the university and local community along with Friars, Sister and Seculars as we marked the Transitus of St. Francis and renewed our commitment to follow the Gospel way of life in the manner of our seraphic father St. Francis. I felt honored and humbled to be in the presence of so many holy men and women. I’m grateful to be a Franciscan. I’m definitely one of the lesser brothers of the Secular Franciscan Order, but I am nonetheless a brother and follower of our Christ and St. Francis. Pace e Bene!

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Morning Fog

Carl Sandburg had a poem about the fog.

The fog comes
on little cat feet.

It sits looking
over harbor and city
on silent haunches
and then moves on.

Carl Sandburg

That poem is with me this morning as I sit looking at the fog that covers the valley in front of me. I’m sitting here enjoying a fresh cup of Starbucks, but in deference to my friend Lee, it could easily be Tim Hortons or whatever brand you like. One of the remnants of the fog this morning was a dew covered spider web on the lamp post in front of our home. The sun breaking in caused the moisture on the web to glisten. I tried to take a picture of it, but there are some things that even cameras can’t capture and this was one of them. I thought too of how often ethereal events can only be appreciated by those who can see them. I was blessed this morning to see the web and it reminded me of the Ruach. The Ruach is the breath of God and so much of what surrounds us all is just that the breath of God. Sometimes I’m so caught up in myself that I fail to see the beauty of the fog, the spiders web, or the full moon that was out last night. Thank you God for letting me have the eyes to see your creation and to embrace it. Peace and all good.

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Growth

Summer is a time of growth and my summer has certainly been that this year for me.  This spring or at least early June didn’t start out that way. I thought it was the end and that I’d be leaving and going elsewhere to begin a retirement and whatever that may have held. I even had a verse picked out which I liked and it was from the Second chapter of Paul’s letter to Timothy.

the time of my departure is at hand. I have competed well; I have finished the race; I have kept the faith

This summer I discovered that there were other plans in store for me and one of them was to get a much needed break, a respite from my work of the past ten years. I spent much of the early part of this summer actually sleeping in and enjoying getting up at 7 or 8 and having a fresh cup of brewed Starbucks. A post card from St. Bonaventure University, a thought from my higher power, encouragement from friends and family and I’m back in the fray but with a slightly different direction.

This morning it’s a bit chilly. I think it’s 45 F outside. It feels like autumn, but it’s not autumn in my life any more. My life has a sense of spring in it, a sense of redemption and metanoia. I’ve thought often of Thomas Merton’s prayer, “My Lord God I have no idea where I am going, I do not see the road ahead of me, ..”. I’m not sure where it will end but I know that the power that animates and directs me is moving me forward. My friend David offered a word of encouragement yesterday as we met in the school parking lot. All around me people have encouraged my re-directed path. Yesterday, I thought a lot of my Dad and how much I missed him. Dad’s been gone 36 years, but yesterday his spirit was with me. This summer has been a pivotal time in my life, a new direction has been taken and I’m not really the author of it, I’m just responding to the direction and sometimes with a bit of hesitancy but I’m moving forward.

If anything this spring and summer I’ve had a sense of Psalm 23. Time after time I’ve been led beside still waters and each time I remember the verse, “He leads me beside still waters, he restores my soul.” My soul has been restored and I’m moving forward. Thank you to all who have prayed for me as it must be your prayers and thoughts that have sparked this transformation. I am not the author of these changes. I am reminded of another favorite prayer and one that hangs near the coat rack at Mt. Irenaeus.

It is not you that shapes God
it is God that shapes you.
If you are the work of God
await the hand of the artist
who does all things in due season.
Offer Him your heart,
soft and tractable,
and keep the form
in which the artist has fashioned you.
Let your clay be moist,
lest you grow hard
and lose the imprint of his fingers.

– St. Irenaeus

I have not lost the imprint of his fingers.

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Lake Murray

We’ve been spending the last few days in sunny South Carolina thanks to the hospitality of my brother and his family. It’s been thirteen years since our last visit to Lake Murray. It is a lovely lake and a wonderful experience heightened by the fact that it’s something we don’t get to do as much as we used to. Eleven us of sharing the same home, waterfront, dock and water-craft. We’ve spent an entire summer in Western New York where we’ve been hard pressed to have two consecutive days of sunshine. Here the sun is present everyday and the air temperatures hover in the mid-ninety’s and water temperatures in the high eighties. Mom is with us too. We’re all getting older but Mom is the oldest at eighty-two. She’s been a little sick and she’s getting frail. We spent many summers at the ocean as youngsters and Mom was there swimming and watching us to make sure we didn’t wander too far into the Atlantic surf. Now we her children watch her to make sure that her needs are met. It’s great to have her along. It’s great too to be with our immediate family. It’s been a half-dozen years since we were on a family vacation. Our family, my brother’s family and my sister and her husband too. This is a special time and one that I’ll remember for a long time.

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Epiphany

Maybe most people already knew this and maybe I’m just catching up but Daniel Pink’s book has been a real insight for me.  What chance that I would take a picture of the labyrinth at Mt. Irenaeus, upload it with my Blackberry to Facebook an that it would invite a conversation that would lead me to read and listen to “A Whole New Mind.” If people like me will rule the future that’s great, but its less important to me than the fact that this book and some of the concepts in it help explain a lot about me that had puzzled me for years.

My brother is very left brained at least according to the book. He’s even got an MBA. I enrolled in an MBA program a couple of years ago and then un-enrolled before classes started because the whole idea of learning about what was being offered really didn’t appeal to me. I’ve always been the dreamer and the contemplative. I read Carlos Castaneda thirty-five years ago when few had heard of him. I remember reading Sri Chinmoy, Edgar Cayce and other mystics when I was serving in the US Navy.  It is simply amazing to have this book handed to me as it were as I’m ready to embark on more graduate learning. The program I’m entering would seem to be more left brain oriented but my own approach to learning and even educational leadership is decidedly right brained according to Daniel Pink. Whatever the outcome of my studies “A Whole New Mind” has set me on a path to look at myself and life itself with a whole new set of eyes.

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I will remember

Today we lost another legend. Walter Cronkite was the man upon whom a generation of Americans depended for the news. In the days before cable news and now the blogosphere we depended on Walter Cronkite to give us the news. Every night at 6:30 pm I would sit in our family room with my Mom, Dad, brother and sister following our dinner and listen to Walter Cronkite give us an update.

My earlier recollections of Walter were from the late 1950’s when I’d watch “The Twentieth Century,” a weekly program featuring Walter Cronkite with my Dad. There were other newsmen and many were as famous but they all predeceased Walter. Names like Chet Huntley, David Brinkley and Harry Reasoner. I remember Walter telling us that President Kennedy had been murdered in Dallas, Martin Luther King murdered in Memphis, Apollo Eleven landing on the moon. He was part of all that was news for the first thirty years of my life. Thanks you Walter and may you rest in peace.
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