I’ve come here to think, to brood perhaps to lick my wounds. I’ve come up short again trying to pass the New York State School leadership exam. I passed one with flying colors and missed the other by 2 points. God I hate losing and failing. Two points might as well be two hundred. I got a 4.0 at St. Bonaventure University in the Education Leadership program and I am having difficulty with the darned exam. Does an exam make a leader? Sitting here next to the Genesee River soothes my soul at least for now. I had lots of people praying for me but I guess it either wasn’t enough or it wasn’t God’s will. I’m not praying on these things anymore. Emerson said that “every wall is a door.” I’m looking for the door now and maybe I’ll find it next to this river. It’s quiet here and solitude is what I crave.