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Today at Mass during Fr. Lou’s homily he stated something like the greater we love something or someone the greater we suffer. That can have a negative connotation as in the more I love and/or horde material things the more I will fret about their disappearance. That’s not what I’m talking about here. I often worry a lot about my son and daughter. I think that is common with almost any parent. Some parents might handle it better. Some might deny it, but most would agree that children are a great source of concern and well they should be. I love both our children and when they’re out of our sight as they are now away at college I am concerned for their welfare.

In our culture we’re almost conditioned to avoid suffering. We have medicine and counseling that allow us to hide from suffering. But it would seem upon reflection that great suffering can be a great blessing and if I look at it from a different perspective. The Holy Father’s recent encyclical, “Deus Caritas Est”, seems to carry a similar message. The deeper my conversion as a follower of Jesus, the deeper my love, and therefore the deeper my suffering when encountering that which conflicts with the vision of God’s love for us all. The greater my capacity for love, the greater my compassion and also the greater my tendency to suffer. Being a devoted follower of Christ means then that I am his hands, his ears, his eyes, his feet and his heart. I cannot suffer but what he suffers. He cannot suffer but what I suffer. We are one with him.

The greater then my connection to Christ the greater my capacity to suffer. That is a blessing, perhaps the greatest blessing I could have. Peace.

One of the facets of my life that I’ve written very little about is my business, DGW Enterprises. I’ve been in a couple of businesses in the last 14 years. In both of these businesses I’ve had the opportunity to practice spiritual principles. One of those principles is thinking of other people first. The world of technology and computers to be more specific has become increasingly complex. A close personal friend and I began a partnership in 1992. Our goal was to provide affordable technology solutions to small businesses and individuals in our immediate geographic area. At that time many of the established businesses were sticking it to consumers and we sought to change that by finding affordable solutions and providing them at aggressive pricing for our customers. We were able to do that for a number of years until outfits like Dell, Hewlett-Packard, and vendors like Tiger-Direct were eating our lunch. I was blessed to have a partner who like myself was more interested in doing a job well than in making tons of money. We helped a lot of local businesses, private individuals and non-profits. Our partnership ended but not our friendship.

About four or five years ago I decided to “re-invent myself” and to provide a web design and programming business. Since many people continued to come to me for advice on hardware and software I also decided to become a consultant in those areas. During that period of time I began to use Linux. I started with Red Hat, moved to Mandrake, then back to Red Hat, then Fedora and Ubuntu. In the course of all this I experimented with dozens of open source software applications. I began to see and to believe that I could save businesses, non-profits and individuals time and money using open source software and Linux in particular. It’s been a lot of fun to share my passion for open source with my growing and evolving customer base. At first most people just can’t believe that an operating system that is free can be any good. Many can’t believe that software like OpenOffice and Firefox are free and that major corporations are using them.

In the last ten years of my life I’ve done a lot of consulting for ministries. Most ministries don’t have tons of money yet by the same token most of them have websites and have grown to require email. Most ministries can’t afford to buy office productivity solutions retailing in the $350-$400 range. Open Source software has been a boon to folks like this and in many ways I think of the open source community as being similar to the Book of Acts where the new converts to Christianity shared what they had with the community. Penguin in the Pew by Donald Parris is a great book available in PDF format that helps to explain the advantages of open source software to non-profits.

Today I worked with three of my customers. Each customer had unique needs and in each case I was able to help them. Being of service to others is my goal and seeing customers faces light up when I solve their problem is a blessing in itself. My last customer of the day was a gentleman who had twice before been victimized by spyware infestations on a Windows 98 machine. A couple of weeks ago I loaned him a computer that I had in stock. The computer is a Celeron 1.1 ghz machine with 512 mb RAM. I loaded it with Centos Linux configured it’s modem and my neighbor/customer has been reading email and enjoying the internet without the menace of spyware and viruses. Today I installed a Hewlett-Packard inkjet for him and he’s very happy that everything works.

If you’re an individual who’s gotten tired of fighting viruses and or spyware then maybe your computer should be running Linux. There are some good books and lots of websites to help you over the learning curve.

All about Linux

Fedora for Dummies

Ubuntu-Linux for human beings

Happy and safe surfing. Peace.

I was reading Sister Joan Chittister’s column in the National Catholic Reporter today. I also read a link about how Cindy Sheehan and some other lady were put out of the president’s state of the union address on Tuesday night. I read earlier in the week about some citizen in New York State who will soon stand trial for wearing an anti-war t-shirt in a shopping mall near Albany, New York. This all got me to thinking and contemplating what it means to me. I am opposed to all war. I have been ever since I can remember. I first gave all this a lot of thought when I was an early teen. It doesn’t seem to me that anyone who reads the Gospels could support war. I don’t see anything in Matthew, Mark, Luke or John that endorses or condones war, killing or injuring people. It just doesn’t make any sense at any level of discussion for me.

If you have to be “pro-war” to be patriotic in the United States today then I don’t fit. Don’t you find it wierd that the same folks who make such a big deal about abortion are in favor of capital punishment and war? Do these folks ever listen to themselves?

“Do I ever feel angry? Of course I do. Who doesn’t? There are seeds of violence in everyone I guess, but how do I act on them. I’m opposed to the war on every ground I can think of, but I still love our president, all our leaders, and all our troops and even our enemies because that is what I am called to do. Everyone is a child of God, made in the image and likeness of the most high.”Why the hell can’t we take sides it would be so much easier? Us and them, with us and againt us are not Gospel options. I’ve been hurt really bad a number of times in my life, but violence never solved any of those hurts. Forgiving my enemy healed them all. Peace.

Lots of thoughts today as I fast and prepare for a colonoscopy tomorrow. Having to drink the awful bowel wash makes me grateful that this is not a daily routine. I’ve voluntarily fasted in the past for a number of reasons. At one time I fasted at least once a week as part of a regular prayer routine. I was very devout in the observance of those fasts. I had a friend who was on a juice fast that lasted 40 or 50 days. I’ve read about Gandhi’s legendary fasts. Fasting can be cathartic. My fast today is strictly for medical reasons. The doctors want to know the source of my pulmonary emboli and colorectal cancer screening is part of their plan to provide a comprehensive assessment of what triggered my brush with death in September.

In “Canticle of Creatures”, St. Francis writes of Sister Death. He expresses so well what many of us westerners fail to grasp. In the west we dread death and yet it is a part of life. These doctors who have prescribed this examination tomorrow are trying to keep me alive and in better health. Lately in contemplating my own mortality I’ve thought often of what happens after I’m gone. I don’t have an answers only theories expressed by theologians. I guess I’ll never really know and when that day comes I won’t be back to write in this blog what happened and so you won’t know either.

When I really think of how good God has been to me I have to conclude that if there really is life after death that it would be good. All of my life is evidence that God loves me. St. Francis wrote:

I hope tomorrow brings more life, but the older I get the more I wonder what comes after this? It is my fond hope that heaven is like Mt. Irenaeus.

Got to watch our son play another game last night at Geneseo State. It’s great to watch and not get emotionally involved. It’s not good to get emotionally involved in games, but I can never draw that line. I’m just no good at detaching. After the game I scolded my son for not playing well and got scolded by my wife. I’m still in the dog house over that one. I’ve lived through it before and I’ll live through it again. I apologized to my son for expecting him to be superman. One of the blessings of having a big mouth is I get to apologize. Some one told me that every time I sin I cut the “rope” between me and God and when I repent and ask forgiveness God connects us again by tying a knot in the rope. God knows I have lots of knots in my rope, but also each time each knot makes the rope closer to God. If I look at it that way I can see that even though I fail to live up to what I believe, God has a way of making me and it better.

Today I did some volunteer work for the Friars at University Ministries at St. Bonaventure University. As a way of thanking me, Brother Joe offered a ticket to the St. Bonaventure vs. UNC-Charlotte game tonight. I was beat but went anyway because I didn’t want to have “hot tongue and cold shoulder” for dinner at home. Bonaventure eventually lost the game by about 16 points. It’s always a pleasure to watch a game with Brother Joe and Father Bob. Brother Joe really gets into the game, whistling and cheering. Fr. Bob is more restrained but offers some really good insights. I always feel holier after spending time in their presence. Going to basketball games can be a call to holiness if I allow myself to think that way. Almost everything I do or don’t do can be a call to holiness.

I’m pooped right now and need to take a rest. Maybe I’ll write more later.

Peace.

A headline in tonight’s Olean paper proclaimed that Secretary of State Rice has asked other governments around the world to cut off aid to the newly elected Hamas government in Palestine. Secretary Rice is a brilliant woman, she holds a Ph. D., but brilliant woman or not she’s headed in the wrong direction.

In the 12th chapter of Romans the apostle Paul states, “if your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink; for by so doing you will heap burning coals upon his head.” It’s age old wisdom that St. Paul was repeating from the Book of Proverbs, but even highly educated people like Dr. Rice ignore it at their peril. If you throw a stone one will come back at you. It’s almost common sense. For every action their will be an equal and opposite reaction. The Gospel of Jesus Christ calls on us to break the cycle and to turn the other cheek. St. Paul clearly instructs us to do the unthinkable and to feed our enemy. That just does not make any sense, but I can tell you from personal experience it works time after time and it is a lot less expensive in the long term.

I’m a bit of a “doubting Thomas” and a bit of skeptic on top of that but, all these Gospel principles really work. They are not just pious pronouncements by some idealist. I wish I knew Dr. Rice better, I’d go talk to her. Maybe I’ll write her. Writing letters does work. Little things like letter writing, praying and practicing the Gospel really work. Mahatma Gandhi once said, “be the change you wish to see in the world.” Sometimes I get discouraged and wonder if living this way really does change things. Change takes a long time and I hope I won’t give up trying. If Secretary Rice really wanted to impact Hamas she’d go to Palestine and sit down with them, be present to them and get to know them as people. I don’t know how or what we could do to feed this enemy, but I do know that is the only way to defeat them. Cutting off aid from them is just another way of throwing stones and eventually the stones will come back to us. Everything in this world is connected.

Peace.

I like Sister Joan Chittister. She’s a prophet. She’s got many fine books and has a weekly column in entitled “From Where I Stand” in the National Catholic Reporter. I read her posts frequently and this week she writes about some differences between Ireland and the United States. In short Irish citizenry are better cared for by their government because their government isn’t obsessed with the machinery of death. Tuesday night our president will give his annual “State of the Union” address and it’ll be full of baloney about all the threats we face and why it’s necessary to continue to build weapons and weapons systems while our millions of our citizens do without health care and other basic necessities. In Ireland young men and women don’t leave college thousands of dollars in debt because in Ireland education is essentially free. It’s paid for by taxes. Ireland spends 3 percent of their national outlays on defense while in this coutry we spend 54 percent.

It’s interesting that terrorists aren’t threatening Ireland. No one is attacking Ireland and the Irish are as free as we are. In fact they might even have more liberty than we do. Their senior citizens can have free transportation and free medicine. There is no worry of a prescription drug benefit because their national priorities are about taking care of people. They are closer to living the Gospel than we are here.

One of my favorite scripture quotes comes from the profit Michah. “You have been told, O man, what is good, and what the LORD requires of you: Only to do the right and to love goodness, and to walk humbly with your God.”–Micah 6:8.

There will be little doubt that our leader will invoke God’s name often. That’s popular with his political base. The truth however is, “These people draw near to me with their mouth, and honor me with their lips; but their heart is far from me.–Matthew 15:8. Let us pray that our leaders will do right, love goodness and walk humbly with their God.

Peace.

This weekend has been busy. Our son plays college basketball and we were on the road to two away games. First night at State University College at Oswego and second at State University College at New Paltz. That’s almost over seven hundred miles of driving over two days and nights. It’s exciting to see Devin and his teammates compete. The boys lost both games but it wasn’t for lack of effort. The first game was decided by only four points and the second by a similar margin. It’s really tough to see a young man we love have to lose, but playing college basketball is a dream come true for him and it’s great to share in that dream.

Between the Oswego and New Paltz lies some very beautiful countryside and we enjoyed our trip down the New York Thruway and the Mohawk and Hudson Valley’s on our journey between the two games. We had plenty of time to do some sightseeing and with my wife’s blessing we stopped at Auriesville Shrine. My mom first took me here as a little boy and again in high school. Yesterday as I walked the grounds at Auriesville I reflected on how much my Mom impacted my faith and my Franciscan journey. Mom insisted that I attend St. Pius X Grammar School as a young boy and that was the beginning of my Franciscan formation. Mom is a “cradle Catholic” and though I tease her about being a “saint” I’m very grateful that she steered my early faith journey. Yesterday gave me a chance to see Auriesville again in all it’s mystical beauty in the heart of the Mohawk Valley on a beautiful mid-winter afternoon. It was great to be back on this holy ground and to gratefully recall my Mother’s gift of her faith to her children

I also wanted to visit the Kateri Shrine because Bl. Kateri Tekawitha is the patroness of our Secular Franciscan Region. Kateri’s life and conversion are celebrated at Auriesville, but the Conventual Franciscan Friars maintain a lovely shrine in her memory very close to Auriesville. Having never been to the Kateri Shrine I was able to get directions from a very accomodating Jesuit priest who was leading a retreat at Auriesville. Diane and I made the short trip to the Kateri Shrine. It was just as “Fr. Bob” had told me on the opposite bank of the Mohawk River and about 6 miles distant. The Kateri Shrine is a beautiful place and I want to return to it again soon to walk the grounds and experience again the peacefulness. While I was there I ran into a perfect stranger, a fellow who by his own admission was neither Catholic nor Franciscan, but who regularily visits the Martyr’s Shrine and the Kateri Shrine and he told me he preferred the latter because of the peacefulness of the surroundings and the presence of the community of friars and lay people who frequent the place. I found a prayer in a small chapel on the grounds which was very lovely and touching.

Loving Creator God, we acknowledge your power and presence in the Four Directions of your vast and beautiful universe. We celebrate Kateri Tekawitha, “Lily of the Mohawks,” as one your Son’s most faithful followers. Help us to turn our backs on all evil and walk in her footsteps, sharing our love and Christian concern with others. Let us reverence, as she did, your mystical presence in the poor and suffering. Through Kateri’s powerful intercession we confidently ask you to grant us this special favor we ask in her name. (Mention your intentions.) Share your healing and peace especially with my family, friends and the sick, whom we commend to your loving care. We ask this through your crucified and risen Son, our Lord Jesus Christ, the eternal Word, who lives and reigns with your forever and ever. Amen.

Following our trip to Martyr’s Shrine and the Kateri Shrine we made it to New Paltz had dinner with a young man who is as much a member of our family as our own children. He’s like a brother to Devin. The evening was highlighted by the appearance of my brother and his wife who surprised us with their presence. We hadn’t seen them in nearly a year and it was great to see them and to share the game together.

Peace.

It is not thou that shapest God
It is God that shapest thee.
If then, thou art the work of God,
Await the hand of the Artist who does
All things in due season.
Offer Him thy heart,
Soft and tractable and keep the form
In which the artist has fashioned thee.
Let the clay be moist
Lest thou grow hard
And lose the imprint of His fingers.–St. Irenaeus

Often times I can get the idea that I need to stay strong, but often my efforts at strength result in rigidity. When that happens my clay is no longer moist and I begin to lose the imprint of his fingers. I’ve often had trouble seeing and recognizing grace in my life. It’s easiest for me to see grace in a gentle rainstorm. It is that rain that moistens my clay.

Peace.