Posts

Posted on

Danta De

I begin this day listening to Danta De, classic sacred music of Ireland. It’s beautiful music taken from the Irish Hymnal of 1928. It’s a CD available from AveMaria Press. Listening to this beautiful music, drinking some tea and eating a honey and peanut butter sandwich made from Monk’s bread while reading from “Work of God” a book of Benedictine prayer. I purchased the book of Benedictine prayer on one of my many visits to Abbey of the Genesee. I’ve read other presentations of the Divine Office, but I like this one because it’s easier for me to follow. I don’t sit and do formal morning and evening prayers everyday. I get myself too busy. I should take more time. This week is winter break and I have time to spend more time praying the Divine Office.

Each morning I say a short prayer before the crucifix and offer myself to God to do with me as he might. I asked to be relieved of the bondage of self that I might better do his will. I ask him to take away my difficulties that victory over them might bear witness to those that I might help of his power, his love and his way of life. I ask for knowledge of his will for me today and the power to carry it out.

Tomorrow I’m traveling to Mt. Saviour Monastery for a couple of days in their loving care. Yesterday I spent some time setting up a computer for my friend Fr. Dan Hurley, OFM at Mt. Irenaeus. Hurles as we affectionately call him is 85 and suffering from macular degeneration. I tried to make the print on the computer screen large enough for him to read. I love him. He’s my image of God, a kindly gentle fellow, who loves us all and is patient beyond measure. I wish I knew more about how to help him see. He has trouble seeing the Lectionary at Mass. Yesterday after trying to help Fr. Dan I spent time in Holy Peace Chapel looking east over the hills of Allegany County. The sky was a lovely blue and sunlight streamed into the chapel.

This week I’ll probably spend time every day visiting monasteries and convents. It’s one of the things I like to do. I’ll be praying for our children and their success in college and for my lovely wife. Thank God for the gift of love. Peace.

Posted on

The wound

At Mass today Fr. Bob’s homily was in part about how we are unwilling to accept hardship in our life and how we rebel at what we think has been God’s judgement of us. Bad things do happen to good people. Six million righteous Jews were murdered by the Nazis. Millions of blacks were enslaved around the world. Millions more native peoples have been murdered and massacred. Native Americans on our own continent were driven from their ancestral homes and murdered simply because they stood in the way of conquest. Every day good people die from cancer, heart disease, AIDs. It seems as though the love of God is just a cruel joke.

Society would have us believe that winning is everything and that perfection is not only attainable but proof of God’s favor. In the Gospel today is the story of the crippled man who was lowered through the roof to be healed by Jesus. In those days many believed that physical infirmity was the result of sin of the victim or of the victims parents. There are still folks today who ascribe sinfulness to such conditions as AIDS.

Jesus, the Paschal lamb was slaughtered. He was wounded for our transgressions. In Isaiah 53, “He was spurned and avoided by men, a man of suffering, accustomed to infirmity, One of those from whom men hide their faces, spurned, and we held him in no esteem. Yet it was our infirmities that he bore, our sufferings that he endured, While we thought of him as stricken, as one smitten by God and afflicted.But he was pierced for our offenses, crushed for our sins, Upon him was the chastisement that makes us whole, by his wounds we were healed.”

By his wounds we were healed. By our wounds we are healed. Unless we too are wounded like Christ we can’t be healed. If you’ve suffered child abuse, sexual abuse, alcoholism, drug abuse, cancer, or any of a myriad of conditions then you too are joined with Christ in his suffering and in His redemption. We can’t help others until and unless we’ve been wounded. That which appears to make us most vulnerable or despised is that which binds us most firmly to Christ. It is our infirmity that makes us most useful not our strength.

“‘ My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness.’ I will rather boast most gladly of my weaknesses, in order that the power of Christ may dwell with me.”

Thanks be to God for my infirmities. May the Lord give you peace.

Posted on

Morning prayers

I couldn’t sleep in this morning. We’ve had a lot of emotional events in the past few days. Senior night at Fredonia State last night. A flood tide of memories, precious moments with friends we won’t see as much anymore, reunions with old friends. A beautiful cold morning here in Franklinville, New York. Ten degrees above zero. Brother Sun trying to bring some warmth through the clouds. I have a small book, “Work of God”, that I bought last year. It’s a book of morning and evening prayers. I read over today’s morning prayers. I felt the prayer in my head and heart and it brought me back to God. I’ve been amazed at the power of morning and evening prayers. The wisdom and rhythm of the Divine Office has been keeping monks centered for centuries. Beautiful prayer. Beautiful rhythm. It’s God’s rhythm.

Sitting here listening to the fire enjoying the silence and beauty of a Sunday morning. This is a day the Lord has made. Let us rejoice and be glad in it. I’ll be going to Mt. Irenaeus in an hour or so. It’s been a couple of weeks since my last visit to “The Mountain”. Last Sunday I went to Mass at the convent of the Sisters of St. Joseph in Rochester. Going to the mountain after some time away always seems like going home. The thirty mile drive there down busy Route 16, then onto the lazy curves of Route 446 through the valleys of the foothills of the Allegany Mountains and into Cuba then Friendship. Down Route 1 and then Hydetown Road. I slowly wind my way up the hill. My car and I slow down and peace seeps into my bones. I am going to the hill where the Lord lives.

“On this mountain the LORD of hosts will provide for all peoples A feast of rich food and choice wines, juicy, rich food and pure, choice wines. On this mountain he will destroy the veil that veils all peoples, The web that is woven over all nations;he will destroy death forever. The Lord GOD will wipe away the tears from all faces; The reproach of his people he will remove from the whole earth; for the LORD has spoken.”

The Lord really lives everywhere and in the hearts of all men, but on this mountain and in the person of the Friars of Holy Peace Friary and the community of Mt. Irenaeus I sense that presence very deeply. It’ll be good to get home for a few hours.

May the Lord give you peace.

Posted on

The Gift from God

In December of 1981 I asked a lady to accompany me to a St. Bonaventure Basketball game at the Reilly Center on campus. The lady agreed and so began a relationship that saw us fall in love. In time we were married and in April of 1984 Devin Jonathan was born. Diane wanted to name our son Devin and after some protests on my part the matter was settled and he was and is Devin Jonathan. Names can define people and the name Devin Jonathan has defined him. Devin comes from Gaelic and means “poet” and Jonathan is a Hebrew name that translates “gift of the Lord”.

Following our initial date and through the early years of our marriage we attended numerous St. Bonaventure contests. Devin attended these events, at first in vitro and then later as an infant and tiny boy. From those days until now Devin has had a passionate relationship with basketball. He has played it incessantly almost all of his 22 years. I can remember him playing in our garage with a little child’s backboard and rim. Later his Grandfather constructed a concrete pad and backboard in our yard. Devin spent hours there playing basketball with his friends. He practiced and practiced. He would arise at 5 am and go to school to lift weights and practice basketball. One of his early coaches said he had never seen a child so passionate about basketball in his life. In the summers he attended basketball camps near and far. In fact Devin was so busy attending basketball camps that he never had time to learn to drive a car. Most teenagers are obsessed with getting a license and getting on the road. Not so with Devin, he cared most about basketball and getting ready for Gus Macker tournaments, 3 on 3 tourneys, camps and eventually high school basketball.

I played a lot of basketball as a young man, but most of the time I sat the bench. There were lots of young men in my town who possessed better skills on the court than I. That didn’t dampen my resolve or still my interest in the game, but it did limit my playing time for years. Devin on the other hand had a real talent. He could dribble and shoot. He could pass. In fact like his name, his game was poetic. It was obvious that like his name he and his game were a gift from God. He and his game continued to improve and evolve and by the end of his senior year following two years on junior varsity and later two years on varsity he was one of the premier basketball players in our four county area of southwestern New York and Northwestern Pennsylvania. He was the leading scorer in our area as a senior and was named “Big 30 Basketball Player of the Year” for 2001-2002. In only two varsity seasons Devin had scored over 800 points. More important than his scoring was his leadership both on and off the court. A number of college coaches called our home. One young man called and wrote so much I told my wife that we should invite him for Christmas.

After visiting a couple of campuses Devin settled on nearby Fredonia State and began his college career. He has continued to work and excel both on and off the court. He scored 18 points in his second college game and won a starters role by the end of his freshman year. In the last four seasons Devin’s dream of playing college basketball has been more than realized. More than that Devin has had the opportunity to play with lots of other young men who share his passion for the game. Division III NCAA athletes play their respective sports without any remuneration. They literally pay to play. They attend classes everyday and are responsible for any scholastic work that is required of all the other students and in addition to that they live very busy lives filled with practices, games and long road trips to other schools.

Devin has had great teammates and good coaches who have effected his game and his life off the court. Devin’s passion for basketball has helped him to succeed in the classroom. He’s really matured into a fine young man. Devin finally took time to learn to drive this year and he even has found enough time in his life for a young lady.

In the past four seasons Diane and I have traveled all over part of Pennsylvania, New York and New Jersey to watch Devin and his mates compete. We’ve enjoyed the games and the company of other parents and coaches. We’ve shared in the young men’s triumphs and their losses. Tonight the journey ends. Tonight is senior night at State University of New York at Fredonia. Tonight is Devin’s last night in a Blue Devil uniform. It’s going to be tough for him to walk away after all these years.

I can’t tell you how proud we are of Devin. He’s played hurt all year. He’s had a broken coccycx since November and refused to go to doctor for fear that he could no longer play. Devin draws a lot of offensive fouls and every time someone knocks him on his tail he comes to his feet pain. In the last month and a half he’s played with torn cartillage in his left knee. Devin loves basketball so much that he’s endured all kinds of pain just to play. He’s not alone many of his teammates are nursing injuries. That’s a way of life in college sports. We’re proud of all the young men on the Fredonia State Basketball team and we’re blessed to have made so many friendships with the parents of those young men.
In a few months Devin and four of his teammates will graduate from SUNY Fredonia and all of this will be but a memory. It’s been a magnificent obsession that has propelled a young man to accomplish much both on and off the court.

Deo Gratias.

Posted on

Answered prayers

It’s been a couple of days and I haven’t had the urge to write. I’ve thought about it, but there haven’t been any words or thoughts that seemed worth noting. Today we travel to Nazareth College in Rochester, New York as guests of the college. Our daughter is a freshman there and she’s done well. She’s a great student. Third in her high school graduating class, but college is always an adjustment.

When Dara was looking at colleges a year and more ago we visited several nice places. She really had her heart set on another college. Following one of those visits we were at Abbey of the Genesee and I said a prayer near the statue of Our Lady that Dara would have a successful search and find a college that would be good for her.

Nazareth College was our last visit, they had offered her a scholarship package and on a very stormy day last spring we traveled there. The first thing I saw as we drove onto the campus, was a large statue of Our Lady. I knew then that this was the answer to our prayer. We both prayed that she’d be successful and she has been. She finished the first semester with a 3.89 gpa. She’s recently been asked to be a student ambassador for the college. Our prayers for her success have been more than answered.

Peace.

Posted on

Secrets of Success and Inner Peace

I’ve been reading Wayne Dyer’s, Ten Secrets for Success and Inner Peace. Dr. Dyer is a fan of St. Francis of Assisi. It’s been good to read this book for me. It’s just what I needed. A respite from all that I’ve experienced lately. It’s an affirmation that I am surrounded by the presence of God. In fact the author asks his reader to think of God as a presence rather than as a being. Lots of good quotes that have made me think and reflect. Reading this book has been like being on a retreat. I recommend it to anyone.

I’m actually going on a retreat next week. I’ve scheduled a couple of days at Mt. Saviour Monastery in Pine City, New York. I’ve visited Mt. Saviour a number of times. I really enjoy their bookstore. Next week I’ll get to spend a couple of days there. One of the secrets of success that Wayne Dyer speaks of in his book is “Embracing Silence”. I’ve found that to be increasingly true for me. Too much noise is debilitating.

Peace.

Posted on

Romans 8:28

We’ve been on the road with the Fredonia State Blue Devils and though they’ve played hard the young men have come up empty. It’s easy to be proud of a winning team. It’s harder to find the positives in a team that has trouble winning. The State University of New York Athletic Conference is very competitive. Today’s opponent, the Potsdam Bears, were definitely the better team. Fredonia rallied from thirteen down to take a two point lead only to see it disappear and finally lose the game. Our son Devin has only two games left in his senior season and it was tough to console a boy who loves basketball and hates losing. As we watched him board the bus home I said, “All things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to his purpose.” I don’t know if that brought any comfort to Devin. I don’t think it did much to assuage my own feelings about the game and the waning season.

Who do I trust? Do I really trust God to bring something postitive out what looks like a big negative? I can’t say that I always find the positive in what looks like big negatives, but I know there is a bigger picture. St. James also counsels that we should welcome the bad things that happen to us along with the good. When I fail to look deeply and contemplatively at what happens to me on a daily basis I miss the opporunity to see God’s hand in it all. I pray for the wisdom to wait on the Lord. Psalm 46:11 admonishes me to “be still and know that I am God.” Help me to be still. Peace.

Posted on

The weak can never forgive

“The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is an attribute of the strong.” A friend sent me that quote in an email yesterday and it’s truth just jumped out at me. The source of the quote was Mahatma Gandhi, who was no stranger to forgiveness. Gandhi is said to have forgiven the man who shot him before he died. That’s powerful. While dying on the cross, Jesus said, “Forgive them father for they know not what they do.” That’s radical forgiveness. I think that’s what we’re called to.

May the Lord give you peace.

Posted on

Looking deeply

A few days ago I came across a picture of a little boy with his arm up on a snow bank. The little boy appeared to be half asleep or perhaps catching a nap on this snow bank. Maybe he had been shoveling, I don’t really know. I do know that the little boy was about five at the time of the photo. It was a picture of me that my father probably took. As I looked at the picture I began to look deeply at the boy and I wanted to talk with him. I really longed to talk again with that little boy who had grown into a man. I wanted to tell him that he was a good little boy. I wanted to tell him that the cares and concerns he had were real but that the passage would be okay.

On the wall in my sacred space is a picture of that boy taken some years later when he was 13. When I look at that young man I want to speak with him too and tell him that I love him. That young man wanted to be a Catholic priest. He wanted to dedicate his life to helping others. That young man attended Mass everyday and was devout about his faith. He was also torn by an emerging sexual and social identity which caused him to question the beliefs and at one point would drive him down the road of the prodigal son. Life wasn’t simple for that young man. He was full of conflict and question.

Looking deeply at myself today I can see the little boy and the adolescent and I can embrace both of them and love them deeply because they are part of who I am today. The more I am able look deeply and to see not only those two boys, but my mother, father, brother, sister, and everyone else the more contented I am.

Everything belongs. Peace.

Posted on

Sounds of Silence

Today I had to drive 80 miles to attend a technology integrator forum of which I am a member. During my drive east this morning I deliberately didn’t have any radio or noise on. I wanted to hear whatever it is I was supposed to hear from the Creator. Several years ago I began to “fast” from the news. Although I continue to read news sites on the web, I’ve renewed my news fast again. I fasted for a year last time. From October 2004-November 2005 I didn’t watch or listen to any newscasts. I received whatever local/national news from our local Olean Times Herald. If you’ve ever read a small city newspaper you soon realize how little national and international news they contain.

I’m convinced that not listening to the packaged news has allowed me to think freely about a range of topics and to have my ear honed to hear differently. The daily bombardment from Fox, CNN, MSNBC, ABC, CBS, NBC, NPR etc. can be deafening and can enforce a reality which really only exists for their listeners. If that has become your reality I challenge you to tune out, turn off and listen instead to the silence that surrounds you. Before I left the house this morning it was my intent to take along my Franciscan Crown Rosary and to recite it on my ride to Bath, New York. I forgot to bring the Rosary but instead used my fingers and memory to recite a few decades and to remember some of the people who have reacted to my posts in this blog.

I’ve discovered that it is possible to live a life punctuated by solitude without being a solitary monk in a cloister. Like St. Francis, the world is my cloister. It is possible to live a life where silence is indeed golden. I love people and I love life, but I also love silence and solitude. If you are looking for peace, you can find it in your own kitchen or in your own living room. Peace.