For months and even years I’ve been praying for direction. Today as I meditated and now as I mindfully walk along the Allegany river near St. Bonaventure University the answers seem to flow. All of my life I have wanted to teach, to help and heal people. I recall making tests up for my brother Mark using my Dad’s typewriter. Mark was my first student. At 19 and in US Navy recruit training I was chosen education petty officer for our company. I’ve often wondered why I was chosen. Many of my shipmates were college graduates and I had only completed my freshman year of college at that point. Later I attended US Navy Corps School and served as a corpsman in labor and delivery, newborn nursery and later a surgical assistant and ambulance driver. After active duty I briefly pursued nursing education then leaving academic pursuits and eventually finding employment in education first as a school bus driver and custodian then returning to the classroom to finish the bachelors degree. For the past almost twenty-six years I’ve taught and worked as a technology director. But what am I really? Am I a geek, a technology purveyor, an entrepreneur who helps others solve technology problems? Is there more?
This morning an insight came and it crowded out everything else. At my core I love to help people. I love God and all that might be defined mystic and spiritual. I was the altar boy who fell asleep in front of the church door waiting for Fr. Pollard to open for 7 o’clock mass. I was the boy who wanted to go to the minor seminary at twelve years of age. I am the teacher who loves opening up opportunities for challenging students too.
Four years ago I returned to graduate school at St. Bonaventure University and graduated at the top of my class in Educational Leadership. For awhile I actively sought administrative positions at other school districts. I got some interviews but all proved to be dead ends or so I thought. Frustration set in and I began to question what I had accomplished. Eventually at the direction of a total stranger I began to meditate. Five minutes twice a day led to ten and eventually fifteen and twenty minutes. Changes in my outlook and healing invited me to consider the power of this ancient practice. An invitation from my daughter to take up yoga caused additional changes and now almost eighteen months later I sense a new direction for my life.
Not in the last thirty years have I seen so much stress and tension in education. Everywhere teachers, principals, students and parents too are stressed and frustrated with a system gone awry from high stakes testing. Then too a society in flux adapting to the second decade of the twenty-first century. Global markets, climate change, redefined roles have created chaos that is not easily solved. Old answers don’t work and so we look for new answers to the questions caused by this frenzy.
My practice of meditation and yoga have brought me peace. My prayer life has deepened and invited me to reach out. I’m pursuing my calling as a Secular Franciscan and a teacher and today I see that this earlier call could’ve been the direction I have been looking for. Francis responded to a call to rebuild the church of his day which had fallen in to ruin. The church or better yet the community of today has fallen into ruin. The call I’m discerning today is how and by what means can we rebuild the community or communities in which we find ourselves. I think the answer lies in stillness and contemplation. The world needs mystics and contemplatives from all cultures and faith communities. I hope you will join me in silence, stillness and prayer for our earth and its people.
Yoga for teachers
In the past year I’ve discovered that there are many teachers who are stressed about a variety of things. For many it involves high stakes testing and tying their evaluations to the results of those tests. For others its a combination of raising a family, higher fuel prices, uncertain futures, children in college and more. I’ve been taking yoga classes locally and one at Bikram Yoga in Tempe, Arizona when I was on vacation this past February. I’ve found in all of this a relaxation and stress relief that not only works but also invites others to respond the same way. There are some in our society who classify Yoga as a religion and some go so far as to insinuate sinister forces in operation at its core. Those assertions are not grounded in reality but they do keep some from seriously investigating this practice and applying it to their own lives.
My approach to this discourse has been Franciscan. I have let my activity, actions, reactions and other people’s reactions to me be the testimony of my practice. I’ve found other Franciscans who practice Yoga too. Of much greater importance is a natural method to deal with stress and improvement of one’s life and the lives we touch each day. Who among us doesn’t witness the reactions of our pupils to these incessant high stakes tests. Add to that the normal stresses of growth and maturation and you have a climate that invites bullying and other negative behavior.
This year I used some simple practices like mindful breathing to reverse these conditions with students. Each class period we began with six deep breaths. This mindful moment focused the children and calmed them too. It provided a natural break between the excitement of passing from class to class to the learning environment and it brought more oxygen into their blood which helped them to be more alert and focused too.
Each day prior to class I spent a few minutes in downward facing dog and forward bends along with mindful breathing to help me relax and prepare for my time with the students. I know that this was reflected in my teaching and my other interactions with them each day. Recent interactions with some of my peers invited me to consider how I could share my experience with other teachers and encourage them to consider yoga for themselves and their students too.
Pacem in Terris
Pacem in Terris is the famous encyclical of Blessed John XXIII. As I’ve stated before Pope John was my favorite Pope up until now. When former Pope Benedict decided to resign i prayed that his replacement would be a man like Pope John XXIII. So far I have not been disappointed. This video that came from the Justice, Peace and Integrity of Creation website of the United States Secular Franciscans is a good synopsis of the encyclical. Pope John XXIII was a Secular Franciscan and there is no doubt that Pacem in Terris is evidence of that.
[vimeo http://www.vimeo.com/55888289 w=500&h=281]
The Encyclical Pacem in Terris 50th Anniversary at the United Nations (Long Version) from American Montage on Vimeo.
May I have the courage
May I have the courage today To live the life that I would love, To postpone my dream no longer But do at last what I came here for And waste my heart on fear no more.
— John O’Donahue
This quote has been with me since I first read it and especially in the last two days. What is my dream and why would I want to postpone it any longer. As a young boy I dreamt of many things including a vocation to the priesthood. As a young adult those dreams changed to become an archaeologist and historian, and then again as an adult after a tour of duty in the United States Navy. Who am I really? Today, in a conversation with Fr. Dan Riley, OFM following his homily on the feast of Corpus Christi we were invited to explore who we really are in Christ. Who am I really and what am I being called to? I’ve had a sense of mission for months now, but what precisely I’m not sure. What have I come here for? For over a quarter century I’ve been a technology coordinator, a technology problem solver, a teacher, a helper, and most importantly a learner. There is a longing in my heart for communion with Christ. It has always been there. Sometimes it’s been shrouded but always it’s been there.
One with creation
Yesterday as I made my way around the Museum of the American Indian in Washington, DC I was struck by how much these wonderful indigenous people were in tune with the earth. The wisdom quotes which ringed the walls of the museum bespoke a culture that respected life. All life including relationships with plants, rocks and anything created was sacred. I appreciated the parallels with the Franciscan intellectual tradition in the writing of Bl. John Duns Scotus, St. Bonaventure and more recently Ilia Delio, OSF. We have much to learn and apply from our native brothers and sisters. We need a renewed kinship with all creation.
The Cracked Pot
Today in reading and preparing for class I came across and old favorite and it’s worth sharing again. It’s author is unknown, but we’ve all known what it is to feel inferior and to wish to be more than we are. Too often we fail to see that our imperfections are what makes us valuable to God and to those around us. Franciscans see God in everything. God is very much in this world and God made all of us, even with our imperfections. Native Americans in the American Southwest deliberately knit an imperfection into all the blankets they produce because it is their belief that this is the mark of the Creator.
A water bearer in India had two large pots, each hung on each end of a pole which he carried across his neck. One of the pots had a crack in it, and while the other pot was perfect and always delivered a full portion of water at the end of the long walk from the stream to the master’s house, the cracked pot arrived only half full. For a full two years this went on daily, with the bearer delivering only one and a half pots full of water to his master’s house. Of course, the perfect pot was proud of its accomplishments, perfect to the end for which it was made. But the poor cracked pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do.
After two years of what it perceived to be a bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream. “I am ashamed of myself, and I want to apologize to you.”
“Why?” asked the bearer. “What are you ashamed of?”
“I have been able, for these past two years, to deliver only half my load because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back to your master’s house. Because of my flaws, you have to do all of this work, and you don’t get full value from your efforts,” the pot said.
The water bearer felt sorry for the old cracked pot, and in his compassion he said, “As we return to the master’s house, I want you to notice the beautiful flowers along the path.”
Indeed, as they went up the hill, the old cracked pot took notice of the sun warming the beautiful wild flowers on the side of the path, and this cheered it some. But at the end of the trail, it still felt bad because it had leaked out half its load, and so again it apologized to the bearer for its failure.
The bearer said to the pot, “Did you notice that there were flowers only on your side of your path, but not on the other pot’s side? That’s because I have always known about your flaw, and I took advantage of it. I planted flower seeds on your side of the path, and every day while we walk back from the stream, you’ve watered them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to decorate my master’s table. Without you being just the way you are, he would not have this beauty to grace his house.”
Now, aren’t you glad you are a “cracked pot” too!
Author Unknown
Franciscan Philosophy of Social Engagement
I recently signed up for a course at The Franciscan Institute at St. Bonaventure University. It’s my first course in a program of study that could lead to a Master of Arts in Franciscan Studies. I’m anxious and excited. I’m a layman, a Secular Franciscan, and I’m likely to be surrounded by highly educated Friars & Nuns who’ve had a number of theology courses. Nonetheless, I’m blessed to be included in such a group. In some way I’m pursuing a vocation I once considered as a young man.
Our teacher will be Keith Douglas Warner,OFM of the Saint Barbara Province. I’ve never met him, but he comes highly recommended and this course just kind of leapt out at me as I perused the course catalog a couple of months ago. The title of this blog is the title of the course. Dr. Warner included a reading list to our class that will provide me with more than enough to keep me occupied for awhile. Dr. Warner also provided a link to a fellowship whose focus is Social Entrepreneurship. I think this is going to be an exciting summer.
The Primacy of Christ
The Pope’s homily which I have written about earlier today has come at a time when I have been reading a lot from writers within the Franciscan Intellectual tradition. When I read Pope Francis’ homily earlier today I was reminded of this “paper” that I read a number of years ago on the internet. Its author, Seamus Mulholland, OFM, is a Franciscan friar who authored this piece in 2001. The Incarnation in Franciscan Spirituality came along at a time after I had heard a talk by Fr. Lou McCormick, OFM at Mt. Irenaeus. I was intrigued by Fr. Lou’s talk about the Primacy of Christ. Though I had been raised a Roman Catholic and even attended Catholic primary and secondary schooling I don’t remember ever hearing about anything other than a sin-centered universe. The Incarnation in Franciscan spirituality is centered on love and not sin. Lately I’ve been reading a number of books by Ilia Delio, OSF who also references the approach of Scotus to soteriology. I love this quote from Seamus Mulholland’s article:
“God is love and that love is our redemption and redemption is not primarily being saved from sin, but is rather the gift of the possibility of openness to the experience of the divine Other in our life.” — Seamus Mulholland, OFM
Going with the flow
Yoga was such a relief today. I’m not sure why but lately Yoga has been getting better for me. I mean that I’m getting more out of it. Maybe I’ve given up trying to do it right and just going with the flow. Today started off very good too! Up early and rested and a bowl of oatmeal with honey and rice milk. I’m blogging too and I’ve been reading “Franciscan Prayer” by Ilia Delio, OSF. This is the third book I’ve read in the past couple months by the same author. I recommend her to anyone interested in prayer and the Franciscan intellectual tradition.
Namaste Fr. Bob
Today was bitter sweet for me at Mt. Irenaeus. It is the Feast of Pentecost and I got to read the first reading for the Mass. It’s always an honor to be asked to do that and since the celebrant, Fr. Bob Strusynski, OFM was celebrating his last Mass at the Mountain it was deeply significant. I’ve grown to love Fr. Bob in the past almost dozen years since we first met at Mt. Irenaeus. He’s quiet, thoughtful and scholarly. He’s has a Ph.D. in theology and his homilies always reflect that scholarship. Soon he will be retiring to Butler, New Jersey. I’ll miss him very much. Today’s homily was typically about love. That’s often the topic of Fr. Bob’s talks. In the last couple of days I’ve finally come to understand at least intellectually what Franciscans mean when they speak of poverty. Poverty is ultimately about love and relationship. Forgiveness is in there too as God is always doing everything to bridge that gap that separates us from his love. Fr. Bob ended his homily with one of my favorite quotes from PierreTeillhard de Chardin,
“Someday, after mastering the winds, the waves, the tides and gravity, we shall harness for God the energies of love, and then, for a second time in the history of the world, man will have discovered fire.”
― Pierre Teilhard de Chardin
Thank you Fr. Bob for helping me to know more about love and specifically God’s love for me. Peace!